Birthday woes...
There's a reason why I don't want my birthday to come. Not only because I'm going to be T-W-E-N-T-Y at last. That's how far put it in her sms exactly one week ago. She messaged me these words "OMG U TURNING T-W-E-N-T-Y NEXT WEEK!!! WOW! THAT'S FREAKY!"
Yeah I admit that I'm truly, truly disturbed by this number 2 that is going to plague me for another 10 years from tomorrow onwards. I'm no longer a teen. Not even in my late teens!!
However, that's not one of my main worries now. The thing is that. I feel so guilty rejecting my friends' invitation to go out together on my birthday. It is as if I don't appreciate their efforts in making me happy on my twentieth birthday. First, there's this thing called the PRELIMS looming two weeks ahead. It's okay if I'm one of those who have finished or almost finishing all my syllabus. Sad to say, I'm not. Secondly, there's shan's concert to attend on that evening, which although I haven't exactly bought the tickets yet but I promised her that I'll go more than one month ago. I have to choose between the two - concert or birthday celebration. Concert it is then, I made up my mind last night. After which I messaged nia and far. Aihh. I hope I didn't hurt their feelings. I really, really want to go out with them but the circumstances no longer allow me to enjoy my birthday. Plus I'm really curious what present did far get me. She made it sound so exciting! Aahh!!! *curiousity kills the cat*
Yup. Birthday's tomorrow. So? My parents not around, not even in Ipoh anymore. And I'm still wondering should I go back je tonight to celebrate with sis. Should I? It's a waste of time but I don't want to look back on my 20th birthday when I'm 50 and only saw myself studying, studying and studying. Without anything memorable. Ok. I'll admit it. Being 20 is a real big thing for me and I want it to be a fun-filled day, happy and sweet. But as I'm foreseeing it, it'll end up this way. I'll be telling my grandchildren next time how did I spend my 20th birthday studying into the night and studying the whole day long. Wow. And that will surely be a deterence for them to study, considering the fact that no matter how hard I study I'm still doing below average's average, the lower quartile.
Hostel mates are nice. But I've only got to know them for 7 weeks. It's not enough. Besides, the attitude side of me is showing on and off. I totally acted like I didn't want to talk, didn't want to socialise, and outcast myself when I do not actually feel that way. Aihh. Yes. And I've been sighing a lot now. I'm turning myself into a real ah poh.
Always sighing.
Always complaining.
Always frowning.
Never mind la. This blog is mine and I can do anything with it.
SIGH~~ SIGH~~ SIGH~~ SIGH~~ SIGH~~
Yeah I admit that I'm truly, truly disturbed by this number 2 that is going to plague me for another 10 years from tomorrow onwards. I'm no longer a teen. Not even in my late teens!!
However, that's not one of my main worries now. The thing is that. I feel so guilty rejecting my friends' invitation to go out together on my birthday. It is as if I don't appreciate their efforts in making me happy on my twentieth birthday. First, there's this thing called the PRELIMS looming two weeks ahead. It's okay if I'm one of those who have finished or almost finishing all my syllabus. Sad to say, I'm not. Secondly, there's shan's concert to attend on that evening, which although I haven't exactly bought the tickets yet but I promised her that I'll go more than one month ago. I have to choose between the two - concert or birthday celebration. Concert it is then, I made up my mind last night. After which I messaged nia and far. Aihh. I hope I didn't hurt their feelings. I really, really want to go out with them but the circumstances no longer allow me to enjoy my birthday. Plus I'm really curious what present did far get me. She made it sound so exciting! Aahh!!! *curiousity kills the cat*
Yup. Birthday's tomorrow. So? My parents not around, not even in Ipoh anymore. And I'm still wondering should I go back je tonight to celebrate with sis. Should I? It's a waste of time but I don't want to look back on my 20th birthday when I'm 50 and only saw myself studying, studying and studying. Without anything memorable. Ok. I'll admit it. Being 20 is a real big thing for me and I want it to be a fun-filled day, happy and sweet. But as I'm foreseeing it, it'll end up this way. I'll be telling my grandchildren next time how did I spend my 20th birthday studying into the night and studying the whole day long. Wow. And that will surely be a deterence for them to study, considering the fact that no matter how hard I study I'm still doing below average's average, the lower quartile.
Hostel mates are nice. But I've only got to know them for 7 weeks. It's not enough. Besides, the attitude side of me is showing on and off. I totally acted like I didn't want to talk, didn't want to socialise, and outcast myself when I do not actually feel that way. Aihh. Yes. And I've been sighing a lot now. I'm turning myself into a real ah poh.
Always sighing.
Always complaining.
Always frowning.
Never mind la. This blog is mine and I can do anything with it.
SIGH~~ SIGH~~ SIGH~~ SIGH~~ SIGH~~
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