Recent Updates...
Apparently, Mother Nature mourned together with New Yorkers yesterday, on the 6th anniversary of the September 11 event. It rained the whole day, never stopping. It began when I was walking towards the subway station early in the morning, without an umbrella..Soon drenched of course, and had to ask mom to bring me an umbrella in case it happened again in school. And due to the wait, I missed 3 trains and was almost late for chemistry lecture. What a day it was...It's really hard to say it's a coincidence that it rained. It was really too perfect a timing.
I had been quite lazy to post updates these few weeks. There were too many required reading for my classes. I'm taking English, Psychology, Chemistry and Math this semester. The thing is, for chemistry and math, which consists of pre-calculus, I've already learned mostly everything in A levels. At first I thought I could transfer my A levels credits, which I know I can after consulting the credits evaluation office. However, from an email reply from SUNY Buffalo, I found out that ALL Chemistry and Biology classes have to be college courses. So this means I can't transfer my A Levels credits for Chem and Bio because they won't be valid when I apply to SUNY Buffalo two years later...sigh...I feel so helpless, having to pay attention and do work that I've been doing for the past 2 years at jc. Math is worse. It seemed so easy to me now because it's just pre-calc. To think that I've went through the worst bit of Calculus for A Levels and now I'm back to pre-calc only..Really quite bored during the class. But I can't do anything about Math because of the lousy grade I had for it. IF ONLY I had got an A, then I would be ever so willing to transfer the math grade over and get the subject out of my sight until 2 years later...Actually, come to think of it, I'm not sure whether I can do that either, because math pre-calc is a pre-requisite course for many other classes. Maybe I would still need to take it even after credit transfer? Not too sure about that...
I've not been making any frieds at college. I haven't been able to open my mouth at all. And it's not like there are not much chinese around, there are A LOT of them at my college, think almost 10% of the student population. I'm such a loud-hailer back at home and now I use such a timid, almost inaudible voice when I speak. Yucks! Tak boleh tahan lah!! I really should speak louder, really. People here are quite deaf because they're used to hearing loud voices when people speak to them. Haha I still remember some joke back at jc. That people's mouth get so smelly because they seldom speak and their mouths are like clamped for almost the whole day. I'm becoming one of them liao. And I really can't take it. It's just not me to not be speaking at all. And I don't like my mouth being smelly.
Professors-wise, I think I like my math professor most, though she's quite weird sometimes. My psychology professor, hmmm, I think she can't really teach but she's a nice teacher too. Just that, yeah, maybe the first few chapters are just not her strong points. She's into the mental illness and psychotherapy field, which is why most of the examples that she always mentioned are either psychotherapy or drug therapy -.-" English professor. Eccentric. A she too. I like my English class though, because overall the people feel friendlier in there. And the guys talked a lot during discussions, which covered up for the girls who kept quiet most of the time. I kept quiet too, of course. There was once when each of us had to read out or say out what we think of a certain issue. I think my voice trembled la when it was my turn. The thing is I already knew what I wanted to say but when it's my turn to speak, it became all messed-up in my head and I think I was just blabbering, with my non-us english :p The thing is!! After I finished saying my opinion, which was not fully developed due to the mind-constriction that I suffered at the time, the guy after me seized on my point and continued with it in such a fluent and constructive speech that made me went "Aarghh!!! What the?!! How could he?!!" inside :p Haha that was from my point of view la, he might already have had that in mind before I even mentioned it. I was just being petty :p Chem professors. I have 3 chemistry professors. One for lecture, same one for everybody in the course. One for recitation class, which is like normal class sessions. One for laboratory. The lecturing professor is a Harvard graduate. I respect him a lot, not because of the Harvard background. He is a very good lecturer, though his handwriting is really indecipherable. The other two are just adjuncts, students from CUNY graduate centre. They might be just about the same age as me, and yet I still have to call them professor :p Oh yeah, I forgot to mention the age group of most of peers. Most freshmen are just 18, borned in 1989. Super pai seh on my part but I can't care too much about that liao la. There is a middle-aged woman in my math class who's taking chemistry as well. Maybe she's pursuing a nursing course? Good for her, though she's somewhat irritating with all the questions that she asked during math lessons :p
I want to bring something into light. My English standard. After having gone through such a long history of English education, I've only managed to achieve this much. Since being exposed to it at 3 years old, with the small talking machines that teaches English words to toddlers, to English tuition with Ms. Thomaz since Form 2, to O Levels and then A Levels, including all the books that I've ever read. All I can write is this kind of English? Who am I kidding? I am no writer! How can I write those kind of heavy academic writing required for my English class? And how am I going to write those in future as a pharmacy student? My goodness. I've used the word 'deep-rooted' thrice in merely 2 days. Have I got no other words to substitute it? I can't figure any for now. I just know that I have to keep reading and reading and reading more books from now on. Not just fiction anymore, I have to start reading all sorts of essays, biographies, academic papers etc etc...I just pray that, please, please, don't assign us The Essay so soon professor. I need time.
I had been quite lazy to post updates these few weeks. There were too many required reading for my classes. I'm taking English, Psychology, Chemistry and Math this semester. The thing is, for chemistry and math, which consists of pre-calculus, I've already learned mostly everything in A levels. At first I thought I could transfer my A levels credits, which I know I can after consulting the credits evaluation office. However, from an email reply from SUNY Buffalo, I found out that ALL Chemistry and Biology classes have to be college courses. So this means I can't transfer my A Levels credits for Chem and Bio because they won't be valid when I apply to SUNY Buffalo two years later...sigh...I feel so helpless, having to pay attention and do work that I've been doing for the past 2 years at jc. Math is worse. It seemed so easy to me now because it's just pre-calc. To think that I've went through the worst bit of Calculus for A Levels and now I'm back to pre-calc only..Really quite bored during the class. But I can't do anything about Math because of the lousy grade I had for it. IF ONLY I had got an A, then I would be ever so willing to transfer the math grade over and get the subject out of my sight until 2 years later...Actually, come to think of it, I'm not sure whether I can do that either, because math pre-calc is a pre-requisite course for many other classes. Maybe I would still need to take it even after credit transfer? Not too sure about that...
I've not been making any frieds at college. I haven't been able to open my mouth at all. And it's not like there are not much chinese around, there are A LOT of them at my college, think almost 10% of the student population. I'm such a loud-hailer back at home and now I use such a timid, almost inaudible voice when I speak. Yucks! Tak boleh tahan lah!! I really should speak louder, really. People here are quite deaf because they're used to hearing loud voices when people speak to them. Haha I still remember some joke back at jc. That people's mouth get so smelly because they seldom speak and their mouths are like clamped for almost the whole day. I'm becoming one of them liao. And I really can't take it. It's just not me to not be speaking at all. And I don't like my mouth being smelly.
Professors-wise, I think I like my math professor most, though she's quite weird sometimes. My psychology professor, hmmm, I think she can't really teach but she's a nice teacher too. Just that, yeah, maybe the first few chapters are just not her strong points. She's into the mental illness and psychotherapy field, which is why most of the examples that she always mentioned are either psychotherapy or drug therapy -.-" English professor. Eccentric. A she too. I like my English class though, because overall the people feel friendlier in there. And the guys talked a lot during discussions, which covered up for the girls who kept quiet most of the time. I kept quiet too, of course. There was once when each of us had to read out or say out what we think of a certain issue. I think my voice trembled la when it was my turn. The thing is I already knew what I wanted to say but when it's my turn to speak, it became all messed-up in my head and I think I was just blabbering, with my non-us english :p The thing is!! After I finished saying my opinion, which was not fully developed due to the mind-constriction that I suffered at the time, the guy after me seized on my point and continued with it in such a fluent and constructive speech that made me went "Aarghh!!! What the?!! How could he?!!" inside :p Haha that was from my point of view la, he might already have had that in mind before I even mentioned it. I was just being petty :p Chem professors. I have 3 chemistry professors. One for lecture, same one for everybody in the course. One for recitation class, which is like normal class sessions. One for laboratory. The lecturing professor is a Harvard graduate. I respect him a lot, not because of the Harvard background. He is a very good lecturer, though his handwriting is really indecipherable. The other two are just adjuncts, students from CUNY graduate centre. They might be just about the same age as me, and yet I still have to call them professor :p Oh yeah, I forgot to mention the age group of most of peers. Most freshmen are just 18, borned in 1989. Super pai seh on my part but I can't care too much about that liao la. There is a middle-aged woman in my math class who's taking chemistry as well. Maybe she's pursuing a nursing course? Good for her, though she's somewhat irritating with all the questions that she asked during math lessons :p
I want to bring something into light. My English standard. After having gone through such a long history of English education, I've only managed to achieve this much. Since being exposed to it at 3 years old, with the small talking machines that teaches English words to toddlers, to English tuition with Ms. Thomaz since Form 2, to O Levels and then A Levels, including all the books that I've ever read. All I can write is this kind of English? Who am I kidding? I am no writer! How can I write those kind of heavy academic writing required for my English class? And how am I going to write those in future as a pharmacy student? My goodness. I've used the word 'deep-rooted' thrice in merely 2 days. Have I got no other words to substitute it? I can't figure any for now. I just know that I have to keep reading and reading and reading more books from now on. Not just fiction anymore, I have to start reading all sorts of essays, biographies, academic papers etc etc...I just pray that, please, please, don't assign us The Essay so soon professor. I need time.
Comments
microsoft word thesaurus is my best friend while writing academic essays. haha. my english is pathetic too considering the amount of stuff i read in english. what more i'm majoring in english. thing is, there seems to be quite a number of people who are worse than me. guess it doesn't require perfect english to major in english in malaysia. :X
My progress was due to a lot of positive-thinking. You have to stop doing what I was doing, which was judging myself too harshly and thinking that others around me were judging me, too. Don't forget that most people have trouble with public speaking, and you aren't the only one. While you're worrying about what you're going to say, the others are probably worrying too, although they might hide it better. There are many foreign students in the country whose first language isn't English, so don't look at it as something that makes you different or weird in the eyes of others, either. Don't put too much pressure on yourself; try to relax and let it be...just let the thoughts flow into your head and say them. Pretend you're speaking to a group of your family members. Don't think about it too much. If you don't do as well as you like, don't kick yourself too hard. Just work on improving yourself so that you'll do better the next time. Any time you think a negative thought, banish it and replace it with a positive thought. You say that your writing is horrible, but I think you're intelligent and that comes across in your writing. Any time the thought comes into your head that your English is bad, then tell yourself, "I'm intelligent and I can do this" and repeat that thought until the other one goes away. Finally, give yourself some credit, while you continue to work in the areas in which you need any improvement. I was very introverted, too, but with positive-thinking I've been coming out of my shell more and more. If I can, you can too. :) Join any clubs, activities or teams that you are interested in so that you can get to know people. They aren't there to judge you or make you feel like an outsider. They are people just like you, who want to make friends. They're going to accept you and make you feel welcome.