Stressful Period
I've been talking about being STRESSED since forever and lately it seemed as if almost every fb status updates from me were related to stress in one way or another. Please pardon me that I'm going to blog about being stressed here, yet again.
This period has been exceptionally tough for me. If only I didn't decide last minute that I want to apply to Pharmacy schools, I wouldn't be so stressed in catching up with applications, forwarding my official transcripts, and writing essays and personal statements. Not to mention, I still have not mustered up the guts to send email requests for recommendation letters from my professors and supervisor. It's a pity that due to the lateness of my decision, I have already missed the application deadlines of many prestigious Pharmacy schools that I'd love to apply to, earliest being Nov 2 2009. Luckily for me though, Buffalo's still open until Feb 1. That's the one and only program that I really really want to get in now.
In short, these kinds of professional schools application are really not simple procedures at all. First, I have to submit my application to a central application system known as PharmCAS for Pharmacy schools and have all my official transcripts, TOEFL scores, letters of recommendation forwarded to the system. Only after collecting ALL the required documents, PharmCAS will then forward my application materials to the schools that I have indicated that I want to apply. Problem is, due to it being the central application system, it stated that it will take up to 5 weeks to process any documents that I send. SO, even though I have requested my transcripts to be sent this week, it may take until well after the Feb 1 deadline for them to process it! How am I supposed to keep myself calm after knowing that??
Second, only after submitting the main application at PharmCAS, complete with one general essay stating why I want to become a pharmacist and why do I qualify, I have the next round of Supplemental Application that is specific to each school that I have applied to. Some schools have a later deadline for the Supp App (Mar 1) but some have it on Feb 1 too. This spells DOOM for me because I will then have to make sure that I file the main application early on so that I can access the Supp App with my applicant ID. How am I supposed to put everything together in mere 2 weeks?? I implore all of you who have a clear mind to advise me what should I do, even though we all obviously know what do I have to do anyways.
Third phase, THE interview. This will only happen if the school is interested in me. Which means, I will have to get past all the application first and make myself really attractive as a potential candidate. I'm not even going to worry about this right now. Plenty of time after completing the personal statements.
Fourth, if I am accepted after the interview, this is also a headache, because I will only have around 10 days or maybe 2 weeks to decided if I am attending the school or not. My dream school is University of Buffalo and I really really want to get into the program there. Not that the other schools are not good, but Buffalo is really comparatively affordable with high quality and most importantly, it offers the dual degree program PharmD/MPH that I have been eye-ing at for quite some time. I guess, I am answering my own question at this point, I should be focusing on Buffalo then, shouldn't I? But then comes the million dollar what-if-i-can't-get-in question...and right now I won't even get into the funding part if I'm accepted, it will bore you to tears.
Finally, in the midst of all this craziness which I have brought unto myself, I still have a take-home exam to complete this weekend and a final paper based on any of the 4 books that I have been reading in my class that will be due next Friday. Great, more essays! And tomorrow being a Saturday means that I will have to go back to lab and finish off the experiments that I have been ignoring for this past week. Another long day spent in the company of the uv spectrophotometer. My life is so interesting, isn't it?
Of course it's interesting! I get to start off my new year with 4 awesome adventure books!
1) Dracula, Bram Stoker
2) Time Traveler, H. G. Wells
3) She, H. Rider Haggard
4) Tarzan of the Apes, Edgar Rice Burroughs
And I have to read 9 chapters each day! A great feat to accomplish among all other things that I have to do as well. I love She the best and I think I'm going to analyze the novel in my final paper and adding in some Dracula comments for some inter-novel comparison of themes. Awesome, I have just decided my paper topic :)
The final finally, working life is really taking its toll on me. I find myself starting to think if only I didn't have to go to work, I would be able to do this and that, go to lab, study more, work out, sleep a little more and many more. The irony is, I LOVE my job too! Once I get started in the office, I won't be able to stop until I really had to leave for class/lab (even if I have uncompleted assignments for the upcoming class). I have not thought of a solution to this as of now. Please feel free to suggest anything, if you got this far in my post.
Alright, I'm done for the night. Before I started on this post, I had a panic attack. I went and hid in the bed pulling the covers over my head and laid there with my mind in a total frenzy. I could not, more like would not, be calmed at all. I could not even cry! I am thinking now that I really just needed a warm hand squeeze or just a hug from somebody I trust, a familiar face, an old friend...After lying there for around 15 minutes, the panicky feeling faded away, with me taking in deep breaths. This post thus marks my first "seizure" under extreme stress. "seizure" for the lack of a better description as to how I felt then, not clinically diagnosed :) I'm praying that this will be the only time that I succumb to these pressures in life and that in the future I will be better equipped to handle them. I have to keep in mind that God is ever-providing, if He set me up to accomplish His will, no matter how hard the task or how impossible it may be for me, He will bring me through it.
This period has been exceptionally tough for me. If only I didn't decide last minute that I want to apply to Pharmacy schools, I wouldn't be so stressed in catching up with applications, forwarding my official transcripts, and writing essays and personal statements. Not to mention, I still have not mustered up the guts to send email requests for recommendation letters from my professors and supervisor. It's a pity that due to the lateness of my decision, I have already missed the application deadlines of many prestigious Pharmacy schools that I'd love to apply to, earliest being Nov 2 2009. Luckily for me though, Buffalo's still open until Feb 1. That's the one and only program that I really really want to get in now.
In short, these kinds of professional schools application are really not simple procedures at all. First, I have to submit my application to a central application system known as PharmCAS for Pharmacy schools and have all my official transcripts, TOEFL scores, letters of recommendation forwarded to the system. Only after collecting ALL the required documents, PharmCAS will then forward my application materials to the schools that I have indicated that I want to apply. Problem is, due to it being the central application system, it stated that it will take up to 5 weeks to process any documents that I send. SO, even though I have requested my transcripts to be sent this week, it may take until well after the Feb 1 deadline for them to process it! How am I supposed to keep myself calm after knowing that??
Second, only after submitting the main application at PharmCAS, complete with one general essay stating why I want to become a pharmacist and why do I qualify, I have the next round of Supplemental Application that is specific to each school that I have applied to. Some schools have a later deadline for the Supp App (Mar 1) but some have it on Feb 1 too. This spells DOOM for me because I will then have to make sure that I file the main application early on so that I can access the Supp App with my applicant ID. How am I supposed to put everything together in mere 2 weeks?? I implore all of you who have a clear mind to advise me what should I do, even though we all obviously know what do I have to do anyways.
Third phase, THE interview. This will only happen if the school is interested in me. Which means, I will have to get past all the application first and make myself really attractive as a potential candidate. I'm not even going to worry about this right now. Plenty of time after completing the personal statements.
Fourth, if I am accepted after the interview, this is also a headache, because I will only have around 10 days or maybe 2 weeks to decided if I am attending the school or not. My dream school is University of Buffalo and I really really want to get into the program there. Not that the other schools are not good, but Buffalo is really comparatively affordable with high quality and most importantly, it offers the dual degree program PharmD/MPH that I have been eye-ing at for quite some time. I guess, I am answering my own question at this point, I should be focusing on Buffalo then, shouldn't I? But then comes the million dollar what-if-i-can't-get-in question...and right now I won't even get into the funding part if I'm accepted, it will bore you to tears.
Finally, in the midst of all this craziness which I have brought unto myself, I still have a take-home exam to complete this weekend and a final paper based on any of the 4 books that I have been reading in my class that will be due next Friday. Great, more essays! And tomorrow being a Saturday means that I will have to go back to lab and finish off the experiments that I have been ignoring for this past week. Another long day spent in the company of the uv spectrophotometer. My life is so interesting, isn't it?
Of course it's interesting! I get to start off my new year with 4 awesome adventure books!
1) Dracula, Bram Stoker
2) Time Traveler, H. G. Wells
3) She, H. Rider Haggard
4) Tarzan of the Apes, Edgar Rice Burroughs
And I have to read 9 chapters each day! A great feat to accomplish among all other things that I have to do as well. I love She the best and I think I'm going to analyze the novel in my final paper and adding in some Dracula comments for some inter-novel comparison of themes. Awesome, I have just decided my paper topic :)
The final finally, working life is really taking its toll on me. I find myself starting to think if only I didn't have to go to work, I would be able to do this and that, go to lab, study more, work out, sleep a little more and many more. The irony is, I LOVE my job too! Once I get started in the office, I won't be able to stop until I really had to leave for class/lab (even if I have uncompleted assignments for the upcoming class). I have not thought of a solution to this as of now. Please feel free to suggest anything, if you got this far in my post.
Alright, I'm done for the night. Before I started on this post, I had a panic attack. I went and hid in the bed pulling the covers over my head and laid there with my mind in a total frenzy. I could not, more like would not, be calmed at all. I could not even cry! I am thinking now that I really just needed a warm hand squeeze or just a hug from somebody I trust, a familiar face, an old friend...After lying there for around 15 minutes, the panicky feeling faded away, with me taking in deep breaths. This post thus marks my first "seizure" under extreme stress. "seizure" for the lack of a better description as to how I felt then, not clinically diagnosed :) I'm praying that this will be the only time that I succumb to these pressures in life and that in the future I will be better equipped to handle them. I have to keep in mind that God is ever-providing, if He set me up to accomplish His will, no matter how hard the task or how impossible it may be for me, He will bring me through it.
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