First Admittance to Failure

my first and most significant failure in singapore...not the poor common test results...is i'm finally getting tuition...maths tuition...first and hope will be the last...no offence to those people who take tuition though...it's just that my case is different...last time in malaysia, tuition fees was like...a few subjects RM40+? haha...guess how much is my tuition fees? one to one...ex-hwachong guy...he come to my house the ground floor to teach me...$40 for two hours!!!! and he still say it's very cheap liao compared to current market price...aihh...i guess i don't have the right to complain as i'm the one desperate for help...my maths really really getting from bad to worse...no matter how hard i try to study and understand, i just couldn't make it!!! why?!! this is super scary man..i can't imagine...what if after taking tuition i still fail my promos maths? i won't be able to forgive myself man...mom wanted me to take this tuition to inspire me again...she said i was very lousy in primary school until i started taking tuition from the teacher living opposite our old house, then i suddenly become very good...haha i hope it'll turn out the same way this time.........*dream*
i know i know...hoping is not good enough...i really have been trying to do my best already and i will continue...whew...this thought just jump into my mind...a levels prelims is just 12 months away!! and haha...promos is just two weeks away...no point thinking as far as a levels first, maybe i can't even scrape through promos...this is scary la...better stop scaring myself liao...shall go home and sleep. refresh. then stay up till 3 am. again.