More Cupcake Madness!!!
Nah, just kidding. I have been feeding this blog with cupcake talks for too many weeks. It is time for a change. (Well, still, it won't hurt to mention that I finally succeeded in making a batch of yummy pumpkin cupcakes this afternoon, only to be ruined by a lousy lot of frosting).
I recently had a dream which is a significant milestone in my life as a woman that I simply must share.
For some time now over the course of this year, I have been feeling the call of motherhood pulsing in my veins. Now don't get me wrong, it's not the sex call. What I have been feeling was the maternal instincts of wanting to have a baby, of wanting to be pregnant, of wanting to feel the pain and joy of giving birth, and of wanting to bring up a child of my own. I think the catalyst for this feeling was definitely the sociology class that I took this past Spring semester, Sociology of Human Reproduction. During several sessions of the course, my instructor had shown a couple of documentaries on pregnancy and on the birth and labor process, which of course included very emotional depictions of the joy of bringing a life into this world. I was already thinking to myself then that I want to give birth to and raise 3 children during this whole course of "role awakening".
Besides that, this year was a year filled with many pregnancies and newborns from people all around me. First, this friend of mine in New York gave birth to a baby son on 28 Feb 2010. Secondly, my cousin in Malaysia also gave birth to a baby son on 23 March 2010 (and I received a minutely detailed account of the entire labor process from her during my Malaysia trip). Thirdly, one of the grad student in my lab revealed that she was pregnant during our conference trip in LA in April and I even went with her to her ultrasound appointment in late May. Fourthly, the wife of a grad student in my lab who was pregnant gave birth to a baby girl in August. Then, my other cousin who announced pregnant earlier this year also gave birth to a baby girl on 20 August 2010 in Malaysia. Needless to say, I will also be attending the Full Month celebration of my lab grad student's baby son sometime in December, since she will be due in November. Enough said, right?
With so many triggers from my surroundings, how can my natural albeit dormant instincts not be aroused? Recently, I have also been "plagued" with the presence of several young children from the age of 1+ to 4+ and I do adore them sooooo much.Well, eventually something had to happen to me right? I finally dreamed of having my own daughter. In the dream, I was with my daughter, about 2-3 years of age, by the side of a large lake in an area surrounded by forests. It was early in the morning and I think I must have been bringing her out on a walk in the nature. She had on her two braids and she had soft brown hair. Surprisingly enough, she had large eyes which definitely did not come from me if this was reality. In that scene, I was on a half-squat on her right side and was making gentle ripples on the surface of the lake with one hand, and my other hand was tucking some wisps of her hair behind her ear. Oh, how sweetly she smiled and how beautiful she was. She must have been my dream daughter, literally and not so literally, haha.
Anyway, that was the entire scene with my "daughter" and there was no "father" in the picture. I remembered several years ago, I dreamed of dancing with my future husband to "I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing" during our wedding. How apt that now, several years later, I should dream of a future child of mine. I have a feeling that if I cannot get a husband, I may still opt to give birth and raise a child of my own someday. The maternal passions that run the entire female human population cannot be quenched with just adoption or by being a godmother to your sibling's or best friend's children, I suspect. Looks like, here comes the beginning of the daunting process of seeking a mate that would make me glow with pride to know that I am pregnant with our baby <3 <3 <3
I recently had a dream which is a significant milestone in my life as a woman that I simply must share.
For some time now over the course of this year, I have been feeling the call of motherhood pulsing in my veins. Now don't get me wrong, it's not the sex call. What I have been feeling was the maternal instincts of wanting to have a baby, of wanting to be pregnant, of wanting to feel the pain and joy of giving birth, and of wanting to bring up a child of my own. I think the catalyst for this feeling was definitely the sociology class that I took this past Spring semester, Sociology of Human Reproduction. During several sessions of the course, my instructor had shown a couple of documentaries on pregnancy and on the birth and labor process, which of course included very emotional depictions of the joy of bringing a life into this world. I was already thinking to myself then that I want to give birth to and raise 3 children during this whole course of "role awakening".
Besides that, this year was a year filled with many pregnancies and newborns from people all around me. First, this friend of mine in New York gave birth to a baby son on 28 Feb 2010. Secondly, my cousin in Malaysia also gave birth to a baby son on 23 March 2010 (and I received a minutely detailed account of the entire labor process from her during my Malaysia trip). Thirdly, one of the grad student in my lab revealed that she was pregnant during our conference trip in LA in April and I even went with her to her ultrasound appointment in late May. Fourthly, the wife of a grad student in my lab who was pregnant gave birth to a baby girl in August. Then, my other cousin who announced pregnant earlier this year also gave birth to a baby girl on 20 August 2010 in Malaysia. Needless to say, I will also be attending the Full Month celebration of my lab grad student's baby son sometime in December, since she will be due in November. Enough said, right?
With so many triggers from my surroundings, how can my natural albeit dormant instincts not be aroused? Recently, I have also been "plagued" with the presence of several young children from the age of 1+ to 4+ and I do adore them sooooo much.Well, eventually something had to happen to me right? I finally dreamed of having my own daughter. In the dream, I was with my daughter, about 2-3 years of age, by the side of a large lake in an area surrounded by forests. It was early in the morning and I think I must have been bringing her out on a walk in the nature. She had on her two braids and she had soft brown hair. Surprisingly enough, she had large eyes which definitely did not come from me if this was reality. In that scene, I was on a half-squat on her right side and was making gentle ripples on the surface of the lake with one hand, and my other hand was tucking some wisps of her hair behind her ear. Oh, how sweetly she smiled and how beautiful she was. She must have been my dream daughter, literally and not so literally, haha.
Anyway, that was the entire scene with my "daughter" and there was no "father" in the picture. I remembered several years ago, I dreamed of dancing with my future husband to "I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing" during our wedding. How apt that now, several years later, I should dream of a future child of mine. I have a feeling that if I cannot get a husband, I may still opt to give birth and raise a child of my own someday. The maternal passions that run the entire female human population cannot be quenched with just adoption or by being a godmother to your sibling's or best friend's children, I suspect. Looks like, here comes the beginning of the daunting process of seeking a mate that would make me glow with pride to know that I am pregnant with our baby <3 <3 <3
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